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Time.

If you’re like me, you are probably trying to shove 42 hours into a 24 hour day.  All the usual suspects plus a million tiny little distractions drain the clock.  One question I get asked frequently is – How do you do it?  This translates to – How do you work full time, keep the house semi-clean (don’t look too closely at my floors please and thank you), exercise, and have a side hustle?

I’m always surprised by this question because I’m just another mom living a pretty routine life.  I’m certainly not a productivity expert and I doubt I do anything unusual or special.  But I did think this would be an interesting topic to unpack.

Maybe there are things I’m doing – or not doing – that you would consider adding to your routine.  Or maybe you’ll realize I’m a completely average, normal human being and you’re actually just as productive as I am.  Either way, let’s proceed.

A few things I do to help me accomplish just a little more in a given year include the following:

• I embrace less.  True to the title of this post, I have embraced a form of minimalism which has translated into having less stuff around our house.  By not owning a ton of toys or knick knacks, I just have less to pick up and clean around.
• When my kids are playing, I let them play.  We have a kitchen area that is big enough it allows for a small play area.  It’s amazing.  Alan can cook, I can eat, and our kids can play in this mostly childproofed area.  The point I’m making here is that I don’t interrupt my kids when they are playing nicely.  I just let them get into their groove and go.  If I can be productive cleaning or working during that time, I take advantage of it.
• I think in terms of short, medium, and long term goals.  A day goes fast but small actions once or twice or five times a week add up to large results over the course of a year or even five years.
• Whenever I’m commuting, I listen to podcasts or books on tape.  Last year about half of the nearly 60 books I read where on audio.  You can get a free app from the library called Overdrive and start today.
• For my photos of the boys – I often leave my camera in the kitchen so that it is handy when we are hanging out at home.
• While my home and closet are fairly minimalistic, my purse does not follow the same philosophy.  I often have my knitting and/or a book in my bag so that I don’t get lost in the social media vortex every time I’m waiting in line.  Instead I can read or knit which is actually much more calming for me.
• We don’t watch much tv.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve watched a show for a couple months now and we don’t have cable which makes it easier to keep the tv off.
• I don’t iron.  Much to my mother’s chagrin I just skip this step.
• If I figure out a way to organize something – laundry, dishes, clothes, whatever – in a way that makes my life easier, I implement that reorganization and follow it.
• When there is something I’m interested in trying, I try to move it from my radar to my routine.  Because when it sits in my brain and I think about it too long, it just takes up head space.
• One thing I don’t do very well and am trying to change, is all my note taking.  I write all kinds of things down.  Lists of things I need to do, buy, remember.  But I often put these in different notebooks or scraps of paper.  I’m working to be better about putting it all in one central location.

I hope some of this helped you and if you have any recommendations for me or others, please feel free to share it!

I took these photos because I specifically wanted to document the difference a year would make.  I made sure to have Aidan wear his uniform shirt and I placed all those letters on our cute letterboard.  A process that is actually a lot harder and much more dangerous to your fingers than it should be resulting in the same quotation sitting on our board for months now.

Of course in typical four year old fashion, Aidan was not interested in holding still or posing the way I asked.  But I snapped photos anyway.  Because of all the lessons I’ve learned from photography, the greatest one is this – move with your subject.  It is a lesson that is sometimes hard to remember.  You’re making adjustments to the camera, you’re checking lighting, you’re keeping your subject happy (which sometimes requires bribes of donuts or lollipops or even both) so moving your feet in addition to everything else is a learned skill.

But this lesson is so tangential to motherhood.  I often want to mother from a comfortable sitting position and have children that listen the first time I ask them to do something.  Reality gives me children that whine and climb on the dinner table when they are done throwing food on the floor.  And so I have to remember to move my feet.  Because motherhood is fluid and what worked yesterday, might not work today.

Which brings me to these end of the year photos where once again, Aidan did not care to pose.  And this time, like the well organized mother that I am, I forgot the letterboard at home.  So it isn’t a perfect comparison from the start of the year to the end of the year but it is a perfect summation.

Next year will take us to a new school, with new teachers, and new challenges.  My very bright but sometimes shy little boy will probably resist my request for photos a few more times.  That’s ok.  I’ve learned to move my feet.

*Photographic proof that children will turn anything into a toy given the chance to be creative.*

Human beings are built with a biological craving to consume.  Without delving too far into the science of it all, realize that our brains have evolved over thousands of years but we are still hard wired to feast when given the opportunity.  This is why it can be hard to stop eating something delicious even when we are full.  This is also why many people spend money faster than they can make it.

Factor in advertising, social media, and the rampant desire to keep up with “The Joneses” (whoever they may be) and you have an incredibly potent combination propelling you in the direction of consumption.  Advertising and social media are profoundly effective ways to feed that addiction.  And the addiction is only growing.

The average home is bigger today than it was 50 years ago.  Many families with only two drivers own three cars.  With Amazon, Target, Walmart and other big box stores, we are able to buy more at a much lower cost.  And so we do.  Repeatedly.

Five years ago our family moved from an 857 square foot condo to a 2,100 square foot townhouse.  Two adults, one 7 month old child, a dog, and our stuff.  The irony of the situation was that while my husband and I agreed we needed (wanted) more space, during the move we realized just how much stuff we owned and started questioning why.  Did we need that?  Could we toss that?  I swear we took more things to Goodwill that year than in any year prior.

Four years ago I came across The Minimalists.  At the time, we had jettisoned some of our things but we still could not fit my car in the garage.  Our townhouse has a one car garage but for that first year, we used it only as a storage unit.  We had bikes and boxes and who knows what else strewn around.  This is a very normal practice and we fell right into that normalcy.  But after reading a blog post by The Minimalists, I knew I wanted to change.  My starting point: the garage.  I took a big trip to Goodwill, a sale or two online, and some bike hooks for the wall, but eventually my car fit and we’ve never looked back.

To be clear, we are just an average family living in Northern Virginia.  I am just an average mom.  But we have what seems to be a less and less average view of stuff.  Not quite minimalists – the term in and of itself is defined by being extreme and we are not extreme – and yet, I’m not quite a normal consumer either.

The past couple of years have involved a very intentional journey.  It has also been a journey that I believe many other moms may be interested in taking but aren’t sure where to start.  You may be like me – with no intention of living in a tiny home, but pulled by a strong desire to own less.  There are so many measurable steps you can take right where you are today to stop the compulsive consumption, to cut out the visual clutter in your home, and to release yourself from the treadmill created by owning and maintaining so much stuff.

So my dear, start with where you are and with what you have.  Don’t organize, just gather what is no longer serving you and work to toss it or donate it.  The process of reducing isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding.  Just start.